Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Oh, hello!

Logged into blogspot after ages! Guess the last time I posted stuff here was back when I was in college, used to have quite a few regular readers back then. Say hello if you're still around! :D

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Saturday, April 5, 2008

First things first.

Ever since the beginning of this month, I have been forced to endure one hapless catastrophe after another. I have an important test coming up and my otherwise valiant immune system, which normally wipes out even the memory of every bacterium and virus that presents itself before it, decided to chicken out this time. Just for a change. But, determined as I am, I had decided to open my book and load the contents onto my brain by 11 am. I don’t know why it should be, but I woke up this morning, looked at my watch and screamed “NINE O’ WHAT?!!!” and cursed everything I knew. Then I fell asleep again and got up at eleven.

As I hastily squeezed some paste onto my toothbrush, I fanned my burning determination by allowing myself to extend the deadline to 2 pm. But first things first. A good breakfast was what I needed to prepare myself for all the concentrated effort. Studying for an important test is not something to be taken lightly. I sat down to eat with an easy mind and ate until I went uneasy in my stomach. “ I say, I don’t think much of this breakfast, do you?” I asked my mom. I thought it very unkind of her, but the look she gave me made me ill. Half-hoping, half-afraid, I asked her if she could give me a glass of milk. When she agreed to do so, upon my face there shone a great radiance of deep joy.

Holding the glass of milk, I wormed my way along to the study. The overstrain upon my brain induced by all the planning, had produced a general depression throughout the system. I felt that the absence of the necessity for thought, would restore the mental equilibrium. So I sat for a couple of hours and thought about nothing. That came rather easily to me. Nothing can damp my ardour when I set my heart onto something. When I finally looked up and cast a curious glance at my watch, to my intense surprise, it was 1:30 already! 2 o’ clock was the extended deadline and I was beginning to feel strongly on the subject; but I soon realized that one makes these extraordinary plans in moments of excitement, but of course, when one comes to think of it, one sees how absurdly out of proportion they are with reality. So, at 2 o’ clock, I tried to look as if I didn’t know it. That came rather easily to me.

At 2:30, I opened my book and read the name of the chapter aloud “The 6 essentials of software testing”. How simple! I could read all about it in half an hour! I felt like a jungle creature advancing upon its prey. If half an hour was all that it would take, what was the need to hurry? Truth compelled me to support this train of thought. I’d get back to it in half a jiffy! And now we come to something that is quite beyond me… I absolutely and positively have no recollection of falling asleep – a refreshing sleep which lasted till the coming of the evening cup of coffee.

The recent lapse of time had rendered all of my schemes null and void. It was 6 o’ clock, but I still believed that the great brain would find a formula. At the risk of sounding immodest, I admit that I am a girl who succumbs not, to her own avoidance tactics. The final plan – I’d quietly sip my coffee and then get back to the books with vengeance. And I did it without a murmur. I mean, I sipped my coffee without a murmur. Only after brooding for what seemed like eternity, I decided to set the little grey cells in operation without further delay.

It’s a curious fact, but what seemed easy a couple of hours ago, now seemed rather cryptic. I was annoyed at my slowness of comprehension. For some reason, which I am unable to explain, I turned the pages to the end of the chapter – to the References. Just to get a laugh out of the names. All the violent laughing forced me to admit that this book was certainly value for money. Thanks to parents who name their kids ‘Collins and Lazier’, ‘Pringle and Longnecker’ and ‘Weihrich and Koontz’. The laughter had taken its toll and at 11, I was finally able to switch off the lights and fall into a refreshing slumber which lasted till the coming of the morning cup of tea.
It’s extraordinary, but was it true that a girl like me, with a razor-keen intelligence, had allowed herself to while away time like that?! Yes. I thought it probable. I still had four hours left. But too many thoughts had me all fuzzy in the brain. So I got down to writing all of them down. A great weight has been lifted off my mind! So if you’ll excuse me now, I have to go make the final effort of a dying rooster. First things first.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Valentine's Day

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. The most miserable day in the year for single people who helplessly watch the rest of the world having the time of their life! I belonged to the former category this year. So in the listlessness of despair, I decided to recall all of those instances in life when i had denied bestowing affection on the unfortunate souls who had made brave attempts at unbaring theirs.One of those several instances struck me as rather amusing but it must have been the cause of much heartache for he other person around whose feelings the story revolves.
It all happened three years ago. It was the last day of exams. The paper was pretty okay and I remember walking towards the exit along with a couple of friends when I heard my name being called out by a rather hesitant voice.I turned around to find the boy who I thought, always seemed to initiate weird conversations which usually ended with abrupt and uneasy exit speeches. But what was that?! Had he undergone a complete makeover?! The formal attire was now replaced by a rather funky shirt with designs and patterns which seemed rather inappropriate for the present generation, teamed up with an equally funky pair of jeans. But he still hadn't made significant strides in the fitness department!
For the first few seconds, he did nothing more than shuffle his feet as I looked on enquiringly.I figured the uneasiness had something to do with the pants.Its difficult to find a perfect fit!
"So....How were your exams?", he stuttered.
"Well...I goofed up in a couple of them but today's paper was pretty good", I replied impatiently.
"So what do you think about me,Priyanka?" was the question he thought appropriate to ask next. I was progressing in the general direction of mental fog. This was all rather mystic. I had seldom met a young man with such a gift for asking inconvenient questions. It seemed like a year for perhaps two seconds. I was scarcely in a frame of mind to sing hymns in the praise of the person who had his eyes fixed on me with overflowing anticipation. After giving the matter much thought, I could only say
"You're a pretty nice guy..." His face fell at this.
"You're a very nice guy..." His face grew more cheerul.
"What else do you think about me?", was the next 'appropriate' question to ask.A foolish question, perhaps, but a man's brain is never at its nimblest on these occassions. A part of me wanted to catch him by the shoulders and shake him violently saying "Will you stop drivelling?!" But better sense prevailed and I again gave the matter much thought and I framed the answer with the following well-chosen words.
"Nothing else.That's all".
"Priyanka,I love you...", came next.My mind was racing. A series of images flashed in my mind in succession...the shuffling of feet, the abrupt and uneasy exit speeches, the weird conversations, the shuffling of feet...did I already mention that? My thoughts were in a swirl. For some reason which has escaped my recollection, I thought it appropriate to ask
"So, you're taking the college bus?"
For a small bunch of moments after that, I found myself wondering why there was a bewildered look on thr poor boy's face?!I had asked a perfectly normal question...
"Priyanka,I want your answer..."This accounted for the seeming enigma regarding the bewilderment easily enough. Well, the answer was a big no but I couldn't say that! I imagined that he would be as sick as mud. He hadn't waited until the last day of college to hear that!No that would be too harsh!
"Oh?Well,its a...How shall I put it?..." I was desperately groping for words.
"Do you love me?", came the next question as I stood staring in disbelief. The boy must've summoned every iota of courage he had in him.After all, he was speaking up after a year of supressing his emotions!It took me a couple of crushing minutes to react. The answer, I felt, was in the negative.He had but a pretty obese chance.It did not strike me as even a remote possibility.Finally, the part of the brain that often aids in the artful formation of a tissue of lies, began to gain control. I drew in breath for the delivery of the nasty blow...
"Well..I'm sorry but I'm not single", I said as I watched his face contort, twitch and quiver involuntarily.Rather touching.
"Oh...okay...I have to go now", he uttered before dashing off at three miles per hour.With his departure, I remember there was a marked improvement in the atmosphere.Today, he must be counting me among the most disgraceful people he's met in a respectable world.
I sighed as I recalled this incident.Gazing morosely out of the window into the night I wondered if it would be wise to ever disclose your love for someone.Sometimes such feelings are the strongest when left within our hearts...

Thursday, December 6, 2007


NO LAUGHING MATTER

One serious malady I suffer from excessively, is uncontrollable laughter. There is no force in nature that can keep me from laughing when something strikes me as extremely amusing. I have tried everything, from diverting my line of thought onto something grave and tragic, trying to physically uncurl the corners of my lips and holding them in the right position, to adjusting my facial muscles to put on an expression suggestive of sobriety. Sadly, this is one of the things that fall in the realms of the involuntary. I have learned the hard way, that any attempt to control it, only lets laughter find its way out in more thunderous manifestations.
Since the scope of this matter is too large, I shall limit my narrative to how I managed to get my friend Neena and myself in trouble during our Math class. There is never a dull moment when Neena and I sit together during Math class. Once, we were being taught about “Probability”, and as always, our lecturer had come equipped with his rather unique and exotic set of vocabulary tools. Neena and I were seated on the first bench as usual (we often get away with all the tomfoolery when we sit on the first bench!)
Our first problem was related to the probability of a tossed coin resulting in a head or a tail. Somewhere in the middle of the explanation, our lecturer exclaimed “If a caain(coin) be the heads, can it be the taeels(tails)?” I looked at Neena from the corner of my eyes and my eyes met hers. This is the usual procedure – our eyes meet, laughter bubbles all the way up and temporarily gets stuck somewhere between the palate and the nostrils, then our defeated self-control slowly gives way to the stuffed up laughter. The above sequence of events followed resulting in a half-audible snigger coupled with mild convulsions of the body. The lecturer looked at us, a little bewildered (he wouldn’t get the joke, would he?) but chose not to say anything.
Minutes later, he started relating an incident that had occurred the previous day at the bus stop. How he found the incident relevant to the topic under discussion, I could not tell. “Yesterday I be standing in the bus staap(stop) waiting for a bus, when I see and smell a man smoking. I got angry due to suffocation so I stand beside him and says, “Hey! Switch off your cigarette!!”” He never got to complete that story. In a thoughtless moment, Neena and I let the laughter sneak out of our parted lips and the otherwise silent classroom, reverberated with the sudden outbreak of laughter. The lecturer had his eyes fixed on us, with an expression of loathing, and said “What makes you peoples laaf(laugh), I say?” “No no..”, we replied with a knowing chuckle, “..nothing sir!” Although our lecturer had a gentle heart, he belonged more to the ‘kick-them-out-of-class’ school of thought. We got away with mild rebuke and a warning hinting at the same. This only got us into a tighter tangle than ever – we had to exercise more efficient control over the uncontrollable.
Ten more minutes and we’d be done with the class with the much-desired attendance obtained. The last problem dealt with the probability of the occurrence of an earthquake. “Take down praablem(problem) number six”, he boomed, “AN EARTHQUAKE WAS CONDUCTED IN 1996…” We never heard him complete that question. I looked at Neena. She looked back at me with an expression I have never witnessed on any human countenance before or since. Laughter had been invoked in its most virulent form. After ten seconds of superhuman effort, it made frantic struggles for freedom and sent us into violent fits of unparalleled convulsions. I laughed harder as if I had seen a bit of humour that had escaped Neena. We had made the lecturer’s blood pressure hit a new high. There was no earthly necessity for our getting up. When the laughter had subsided, we found ourselves in the corridor and heard the loud thud of a well-slammed door.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

COAT,UNCOAT...

I was in an unnecessarily aggressive mood – quite inappropriate for the task at hand, since it was one that required an immense amount of patience. The process of applying nailpolish disgusted me with as much intensity as the end results of well-applied nailpolish appealed to me. I have a history of failing miserably in all my attempts to accomplish a smudge-free, evenly-applied, smooth coat on even a single fingernail!
In denial, I had resorted to surveying the mess that I had made, with evident pride but the demon of my conscience pulled me by the ear everytime, to the unpalatable truth that it was one ghastly, soul-revolting mess!!
The immediate tendency of my logic-driven brain was to figure out the mysteriously evasive reason behind my innate inability to deliver a smooth finish. Definitely, my masterstrokes weren’t at fault! Maybe the nailpolish decided to play spoil-sport and got a little dried up, to foil my earnest efforts to succeed. Maybe the bottle that I decided to pick up at the store was sealed a little too late – late enough to allow its contents to wither. Maybe the brush that came with it failed to match up to my swift, delicate strokes. All hopes of one of these fantastic theories being true were dashed when mom walked in and in a minute or two, walked out of the room with nails well–adorned by the same ‘sticky muck’ which was accused of being the sole cause of the unfortunate mishap that my nails were a victim of.
With a fresh outpour of vengeance, I soon engaged myself in the monotonous sequence of coat and uncoat with my nailpolish remover playing the protagonist who bashes up the villainous and stubborn nailpolish. The nailpolish remover was a perfect antidote to all my troubles, a balm to my lacerated feelings, the harbinger of a fresh start and new beginnings, a retriever of normalcy – much like the undo button in an edit menu.
That reminds me of an incident in which the nailpolish remover unleashed the negative aspects of its nature. I wasn’t on the receiving end, not me! It reciprocates my love with equal intensity. A friend won’t play the fiend! I clearly recall what had happened..my friend once wished to wipe out even the memory of a greasy oil stain from the face of her latest cellular mobile. Resorting to the nailpolish remover wasn’t the wisest thing to do. She went ahead with this crazy idea anyway. Noone could tell that the mangled remains belonged to a fine-looking mobile phone once upon a time. I personally don’t blame the nailpolish remover. The entire act was preposterous! It was an insult to its supreme capabilities! Its analogous to using a fire extinguisher to put out the flame on a matchstick!
After hours of toiling, I finally managed to coat almost every fingernail with lustrous nail enamel. It was the smoothest finish ever and there wasn’t a trace of a fingermark on it!! Just one more nail to coat, I smirked with anticipation as I dipped the brush into the bottle one last time, almost not looking at it, since I had complete mastery over the subject by then. With the swiftest and the most delicate swish, like that of an angel gliding over heavenly waters, I delivered my mater of masterstrokes and slowly parted my eyelids to behold the marvelous sight. The indelible memory of the empty bottle and the brush sans the nail enamel still gives me extraordinary fits of giddiness each time I look at a bottle of nailpolish…