Thursday, December 6, 2007

NO LAUGHING MATTER

One serious malady I suffer from excessively, is uncontrollable laughter. There is no force in nature that can keep me from laughing when something strikes me as extremely amusing. I have tried everything, from diverting my line of thought onto something grave and tragic, trying to physically uncurl the corners of my lips and holding them in the right position, to adjusting my facial muscles to put on an expression suggestive of sobriety. Sadly, this is one of the things that fall in the realms of the involuntary. I have learned the hard way, that any attempt to control it, only lets laughter find its way out in more thunderous manifestations.
Since the scope of this matter is too large, I shall limit my narrative to how I managed to get my friend Neena and myself in trouble during our Math class. There is never a dull moment when Neena and I sit together during Math class. Once, we were being taught about “Probability”, and as always, our lecturer had come equipped with his rather unique and exotic set of vocabulary tools. Neena and I were seated on the first bench as usual (we often get away with all the tomfoolery when we sit on the first bench!)
Our first problem was related to the probability of a tossed coin resulting in a head or a tail. Somewhere in the middle of the explanation, our lecturer exclaimed “If a caain(coin) be the heads, can it be the taeels(tails)?” I looked at Neena from the corner of my eyes and my eyes met hers. This is the usual procedure – our eyes meet, laughter bubbles all the way up and temporarily gets stuck somewhere between the palate and the nostrils, then our defeated self-control slowly gives way to the stuffed up laughter. The above sequence of events followed resulting in a half-audible snigger coupled with mild convulsions of the body. The lecturer looked at us, a little bewildered (he wouldn’t get the joke, would he?) but chose not to say anything.
Minutes later, he started relating an incident that had occurred the previous day at the bus stop. How he found the incident relevant to the topic under discussion, I could not tell. “Yesterday I be standing in the bus staap(stop) waiting for a bus, when I see and smell a man smoking. I got angry due to suffocation so I stand beside him and says, “Hey! Switch off your cigarette!!”” He never got to complete that story. In a thoughtless moment, Neena and I let the laughter sneak out of our parted lips and the otherwise silent classroom, reverberated with the sudden outbreak of laughter. The lecturer had his eyes fixed on us, with an expression of loathing, and said “What makes you peoples laaf(laugh), I say?” “No no..”, we replied with a knowing chuckle, “..nothing sir!” Although our lecturer had a gentle heart, he belonged more to the ‘kick-them-out-of-class’ school of thought. We got away with mild rebuke and a warning hinting at the same. This only got us into a tighter tangle than ever – we had to exercise more efficient control over the uncontrollable.
Ten more minutes and we’d be done with the class with the much-desired attendance obtained. The last problem dealt with the probability of the occurrence of an earthquake. “Take down praablem(problem) number six”, he boomed, “AN EARTHQUAKE WAS CONDUCTED IN 1996…” We never heard him complete that question. I looked at Neena. She looked back at me with an expression I have never witnessed on any human countenance before or since. Laughter had been invoked in its most virulent form. After ten seconds of superhuman effort, it made frantic struggles for freedom and sent us into violent fits of unparalleled convulsions. I laughed harder as if I had seen a bit of humour that had escaped Neena. We had made the lecturer’s blood pressure hit a new high. There was no earthly necessity for our getting up. When the laughter had subsided, we found ourselves in the corridor and heard the loud thud of a well-slammed door.

13 comments:

Sweekar said...

Sesky!
This one made me feel like I was in that classroom with you two!

Both of you three, get out of the class!

IVY said...

man... you have no idea how envious this story makes me feel! I used to laugh and do not laugh anymore ever...idont get it.

Tigger said...

hahaha!! those were the days!! i miss aps!! super article... had me rollin on the floor!!

Karthik ,K.N said...

hey..tht made me laugh...nice one.... i was not able to control laughter in class...so i ne er listened to any proff...really good one...

Shambhu said...

"One serious malady I suffer from excessively, is uncontrollable laughter."- What a beautiful malady, long may you suffer!
Namaste.

IVY said...

yes we should...it's there... but it hasn't had an opportunity to escape. my humor isn't something that can be re-entered by movies or comis or entertainment..it needs people and inside jokes and shared secrets... the people i hung around were SO fucking serious and i wasnt.. and then one day...

IVY said...

(I mean i was serious, but i giggled and cracked up at things a lot too)..it was a hell of alot healthier

emmenemmanasta said...

Priyanka, i just passed close enough to your solar system to recieve a comment you made in november, and reply:
your sentiment has warmed my tenticles. no, i am not in your orbit. i will be back after i participate in more mass destruction on a planetary scale on the other side of the galaxy.
tootles.

monish said...

I waas sitting in the aaffice while reading this.. And trust me, I had to control my laughter the exact same way as you might have.. All in all, an awesome read! Keep it up lady! :-)
-Monish Bakshi

Uday said...

very naaise(nice) post.....good written.....i said lot of hahaha when read it....haha...see...again.....hehe ok i cant think of anymore screwed up english....'twas too funny boss...
i once laughed in a teacher's class....she belted me...i said, "ma'am laughing is good for health" ....i almost lost my attendance for that class....
Hmmm....probability of you not getting 9 is 0...u calculate probability of gettin 9...eeeee

krishna said...

Girl, thats funny, i am actually u from the floor rolling over laughing. I remember my school days and those prof's. Just wait till you get over here (USA) and talk with a few chinku's and oh yes the gults (u know them right?) and others....u better have some self control by then. :))

Your explanation of eyes meeting and the laugh just trigerring is so soo sooo common to all friends. Nice you still get to enjoy life...cant laugh at anyone here...atleast not in front of them.

Archana said...

Vaary funny!..i have the laughter suppressing problem too!..my technique is to laugh and immediately turn it into a cough!..sadly..it hardly works coz the cough is followed by more laughter!..thoroughly enjoyed reading this one! :)

Sujay T said...

lool...u literally recreated my engg class room atmosphere..thx:)